an executive client recently asked me.

We were sitting in a conference room

for our initial strategy planning session

at the start of a 1:1 Rock The Room® VIP coaching series.

He was curious how not to get in his own way.

It was an excellent question.

My answer:

those clients who don’t do as well as others

…lack humility;

…have a “too cool for school” attitude;

…don’t recognize what’s at stake;

…don’t trust the process or try to short cut it

…are half invested in learning but still go rogue

…or rely too heavily on AI to do some of the key strategic thinking.

(More on that here in another post: 3 RISKS OF AI.)

I was impressed with his attitude.

His question itself signaled that

he was committed to learning.

(By the way, we are now a few sessions

into the process and he is CRUSHING it,

accelerating so rapidly in his growth

that it’s thrilling for us both.)

His question, though, has stayed with me

and has led me to wonder about myself.

“Are there places where I ask for expert input

and then get in the way of my own growth?”

And what about you?

Are you hiring someone for top tier support

…and then going rogue?

And how instead can you accelerate the process?

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post Hiring An Expert Coach? Mistakes to Avoid So You Can Accelerate Your Growth appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

I’m sure you know them—

those people who “pounce”

on you while you’re talking.

Here’s how it works:

the moment you’re done speaking

(or even the moment you pause),

they “pounce” in with whatever

it is they want to say (or ask), often unrelated

to the topic you were just addressing.

They don’t quite interrupt,

so they might imagine it’s okay.

However, in surveying tens of thousands

of audience members during my 20+ years

teaching listening skills through keynotes and workshops,

people consistently report experiencing

being pounced upon as worse than being interrupted.

The reason: it immediately indicates

that the person wasn’t at all paying attention

to what you were saying.

Interrupters most often stay

on the same topic; they just cut you off.

In debrief sessions, words used to describe

the feeling of being “pounced upon” include:

rude, disorienting, jarring, disrespectful.

This 1-minute excerpt from a keynote

I delivered to leaders in the hospitality industry

shows how pouncing occurs in a variety of settings,

—even in a remote team meeting.

The issue is this: pouncing, like interrupting,

erodes trust and damages those key relationships

you so want (and need) to build.

There are ways to solve it,

but that’s for another post.

For now, regardless of your role

at work or in life, be mindful of your behavior.

Risk Forward & Listen Up,

P.S. Often after a keynote or workshop, audience members will approach me, chuckling at themselves and confessing, “I’m such a pouncer!” More often than not, though, they say, “My boss is SUCH a pouncer. I wish they’d been here today.” Is that YOU? Please forward this post 🙂

The post Are you a pouncer? appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

For over 20 years,

I’ve been teaching this

3-Part Framework

to help my clients improve and influence

the outcome of any interaction.

I shared it last week with

three top executives

at a leading investment firm

who communicate internally with their teams

and externally to investors;

I shared it yesterday with a family member

who has a difficult conversation

she needs to prepare for;

and I shared it recently

on stage in front of

5,000 nurse practitioners.

The technique—which I call KDF—

can be applied to communications

in both your personal and professional life…

and to any format, from written to spoken.

This 2-minute video clip from the keynote

I crafted for the nurse practitioners

goes into a bit more detail.

I hope you find value in the framework, too.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post KDF: A 3-Part Framework to Influence the Outcome of Any Interaction appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

and felt compelled to share it again,

as the message is timeless.

It’s a story about one of the most influential people

in my performing life… and what it means for you—

as a leader, manager, mentor or parent.

It’s about the Art of Showing Up.

Risk Forward & Rise On,

***

Feeling anxious as my blood sugar

was dropping off a cliff

from a non-stop schedule

at the Aspen Comedy Festival,

I made my way up to the hotel bar

and asked the bartender for a small snack–

olives, nuts…anything?

Seated nearby,

looking like a backstage crew member,

was a guy wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.

He studied me, then the bartender,

and then with the force of a panther

protecting a cub said,

“Get her some orange slices.”

The bartender moved into high gear.

It turned out this guy wasn’t a crew member;

he was in fact the manager for

Robin Williams & Billy Crystal:

David Steinberg of MBST Entertainment.

And he was at that bar because

he’d just missed a ride to a party.

Lucky me. Lucky blood sugar drop.

Lucky missed ride.

Between orange slices,

David asked about my work

and after listening intently,

said he’d like to see my material.

True to his word, months later

when the HBO Workspace Theater

in LA produced my one-woman show,

David showed up.

All the other managers and agents arrived in suits;

David came in a brightly colored print shirt

and worn out leather shoes with no socks.

He was iconic, a rascal,

vastly connected and deeply loyal

…and I later learned,

one of the few people in Hollywood

who kept his word.

In the years following,

David submitted me for auditions

for Saturday Night Live and MadTV;

he landed me a spot in NYC’s Toyota Comedy Festival;

he invited me to the taping of

Robin’s show “Live on Broadway”

and out to dinner

afterwards with his wife, Brynn Thayer,

and the creative team.

He took my calls,

he offered me perspective,

and held me to high standards.

David & I crossed paths again in 2019

at the Chautauqua Institution during a

National Comedy Center event.

It had been years and

we were so happy to reconnect.

On August 16, 2025

he left this earth,

and while my eyes well up with tears

to write this post,

I am so profoundly grateful

for the kindness he showed me

over so many years, even into

my speaking & coaching career.

David believed in me,

and his belief in me

helped me believe in myself.

The words of encouragement you offer

someone who is just starting out,

and how you show up for them,

include them in special invitations,

and honor your word

mean more than you may ever know.

Godspeed David.

The post One of the most influential people in my life and How You Show Up For Others appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

“high performance experts” overlook…

and one I’ve found to be present

in almost every top performer I know.

While you’ll often hear (or read) about the importance of…

• purpose & clarity;
• grit, discipline & persistence;
• vision & communication;
• EQ, resilience & adaptability

…one trait that’s rarely identified:

enjoyment and a true love of the work.

Whether it’s leading a top tier company;

pursuing a groundbreaking scientific discovery;

growing an entrepreneurial venture;

or working on a TV series, film or Broadway show…

top tier performers love the field

and are also inspired by others

who excel at the craft.

A few months ago,

my husband and I met up with

Mark Hamill, Marilou Hamill, Chelsea Hamill, Kristen-Anderson Lopez and Robert Lopez.

It was a festive dinner,

and I listened intently

to a fast-moving conversation electric

with tales of creative projects,

struggles they each overcame,

and a true appreciation for the process.

Throughout it all: a distinct love for the work itself.

I’ve witnessed this trait in recent weeks in talking

with a top orthopedic surgeon;

with a business leader who closed a multi-billion dollar deal earlier this year;

with a trial lawyer client who

is visibly lit up by a deep love

for the honor of the law.

When we’re up against everything else,

this intense love,

this enjoyment of the work itself (rewards aside)

is often what will carry us through.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post An Essential Trait “High Performance” Experts Miss appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

in a few key 1:1 conversations

with executive and entrepreneur coaching clients

as well as colleagues at our NSA (National Speakers Association)

conference in Austin last week,

I’ve heard a variety of references

to outside advice people received

and were questioning—rightfully so.

If you’re struggling with input you’ve recently received,

this brief excerpt from my book might help.

**

Whenever advice arrives in your orbit

—solicited or not—

you must filter it carefully.

Here are three variables to consider:

1. How does it feel (now and over time)?
2. Who is giving the advice?
3. Is it in line with where you think you want to go?

**

There’s a lot more to say on this topic

and many added nuances,

but those three questions will get you started.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

P.S. On the note of feelings, one important caveat: there’s a famous quote by Gloria Steinem which I love. “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” So… be discerning.

The post Getting advice? 3 variables to consider before you act appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

There’s a word

you’ll want to avoid

in conversations, on stage, in your writing and in videos.

It’s one that vastly reduces

the clarity and potency of your message.

What’s the word?

“Thing”

…as well as its variation, “something.”

Yes, yes–there are a few situations

where it might be effective,

but when I’m working with clients

helping them hone their message,

it’s an issue I flag.

Below are a few common examples

you’ll often hear:

• “There are a lot of things we’re working on.”
• “I want to share something important with you today.”
• “Our clients are all talking about the same thing.”
• “A really great thing happened this week.”

How might you make this

language more specific?

Your inclination right now

might be to hit reply and ask me,

but take one minute to find a better

phrase for ONE of the above,

even if you’re inventing a circumstance.

This concentration is what it takes.

Specificity sharpens your message.

Laziness in language

is an indication of laziness in thinking.

Invest the time to be accurate.

Be discerning.

And select potent words.

Doing so will make your message

stand up like iron filings on a magnet.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

P.S. This post is part of a collection on language. You can see the others here:

1. Precision in Your Language
2. 3 Problematic Expressions
3. The Bar Test: How to Not Sound Phony or Insecure

The post Watch out for this word appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

Want to avoid the #1 communication mistake?

Consider expressing your message

in a way that creates a Full Spectrum Experience,

a technique I teach in Rock The Room®

to help people engage

their audience no matter the size or setting.

This 1-minute excerpt

from a custom keynote

I crafted and delivered last month

for 5,000 Nurse Practitioners

offers a bit more insight.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post The #1 Communication Mistake appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

15 years after “I do.”

And what an extraordinary (and often otherworldly)

phenomenonal experience

it has been.

**

It took me a long time

to find the right match.

During this period,

people gave me a hard time

(and I gave myself a hard time),

but I’m so glad I waited.

Sometimes it’s not because

you can’t decide;

it’s because the right option

has not yet presented itself.

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post When it takes you time to decide appeared first on Victoria Labalme.

and for many of my clients,

a time when they’re reflecting on

where they’ve been,

where they are,

and where they’re going.

As you revisit goals,

it’s worth asking yourself and your team,

“Is this really what we

want to accomplish…

and if so, for what reasons?”

As I say in Risk Forward,

don’t let goals

get in the way of your vision

or blind you to unexpected

opportunities that arise.

What is success for you?

Risk Forward & Rock On,

The post Are Goals Getting In The Way Of Your Vision? appeared first on Victoria Labalme.